I wrote that title as if I haven't decided, but I have already started on a different path. For me, it is very much about making up my mind to the core of who I am. But first I need to dissect some of my usual mind games. I could sum it up in two images- although not limited to this, it gives a pretty clear view of how I process various decisions.
On one side, there is the jolly-fuzzy-bunny who will be a great person to be around, but isn't particularly challenging or good for me. I see it as "the easy road". Everybody likes this person, but secretly, in my private moments, I am deeply disappointed with her. She doesn't take risks. She always chooses the comfortable road. She is stuck- cute and fuzzy-but stuck.
On the other side- there is She-ra-princess-of-power-inner-tiger-lady...I love this woman. She is intense though. I am not sure if she were fully realized that many people, including myself, could deal with her on a daily basis. She has a lot of aggression and strength. She can be a little bitchy...She is not always kind, but usually fights for anyone she sees as the underdog. This is not the prettiest side of my inner self, but it is my favorite. I truly want to explore this side because I think that "fuzzy-bunny" is often a mask for my true feelings.
Hey hon,
ReplyDeletejust read this post again. I have to say that I often wish I was the jolly fuzzy bunny gal because I find myself too intense, too bitchy and I speak my mind a little too quickly. I think it's just a survival switch I haven't figured out how to turn off. But having said that, I think we all have that tiger priestess in us. I know you already have it in you..... I see it everytime you work out and kick ass on the lifts that make me wimper. I love you exactly as you are. Now I need to go ahead and love me exactly as I am.
hugs and keep posting. I love, love, love your writing. So honest and from the heart. xo