Edit, Revise, Rewrite

I am trying to clean up my life. I always go through this every year. This year was particularly poignant because I am thinking about children and what I want for my future. I am sick of being in a state of flux. My house, my job, my health, and my creativity. 10 years have gone by and yes, I have changed, but I haven't made a great transformation. I haven't been open to real change. I have stayed quite safe.

I always said teaching would be for a while, and a decade has passed.
I always said I would live super healthy especially since 2005 when I wanted to transform my life and live authentically, and well, I haven't quite hit that note yet.

I fell upon an old letter to myself from last year about what I wanted for myself. Sadly only one or two things had come to fruition. I could blame all sorts of things, but I know that it is my own mental games, and belief systems that keep me locked into this life.

I am not going to resolve, rather I am going to change the tape, change the story, perhaps delete a few things, and rewrite some hard parts anew. I am not going to make any grand sweeping statements, I am just going to do....I am so tired of "waiting to do" or "planning to do"